At this time of the year, as I ponder what I want next year to be, a word came to me: investment.
I bought an end table and rearranged the living room a little bit. I also bought a real Christmas tree. I have lived in my apartment for 9 years and buying this tree feels like the closest I’ve ever been to laying down roots here.
Right alongside that investment came divestment, too. I’ve been going through my music list on iTunes.
I’m rating everything from 1-10 on the list as I hear and, where something is not a 10, I’m removing it from the library. Youtube and similar places have made sure we will have these songs forever in the event I ever need to hear the tune and reminisce, but as I relive the moments and memories with the songs I have gone through, there’s a bittersweet feeling; I’m not who I was when I first loved these tunes and there is nothing left of me that connects to them.
Progress is happening: there were 518 songs on my list. There are 508 now. There will be less tomorrow. Some of the things I’m letting go of are 9.5/10. This has been hard, but necessary. Important.
I wonder if this what divorce feels like to some people.